Republicans and Democrats Agree: Debt Limit Crisis is Fault of One Man

WASHINGTON D.C. They don’t agree on much these days. But the Obama administration and Congressional Republicans have agreed on one thing. The blame for this debt limit crisis is clearly on the shoulders of 32 year old high school teacher,Tom Janakowski of Ames, Iowa.

Don’t feel bad if you do not know who Mr. Janakowski is. Until yesterday, he was completely unknown. He is not involved in politics on any level, though he has voted every major election since he turned 18.  Mr Janakowski is not a registered member of any party.

Obama and Congressional Leaders

“We got him.”

“I think we all know it is Mr. Janakowski who got us into this mess,” said President Obama. “We here in Washington are working hard to avoid the train wreck he is causing. I remain hopeful.”

“The American people are united on this,” said the normally non-confrontational Mitch McConnell, Senate Minority Leader. “They elected us to deal with this type of situation. And that’s what Republicans intend to do. With or without the president’s cooperation.”

Exactly what Mr. Janakowski did to take the blame for the economic crisis is not clear.

“What is important here,” said John Boehner, House Speaker, “is that ordinary Americans understand that it was not Congress, and certainly not the Republicans in Congress, that got us into this mess.”

Eric Cantor, phoning in from his weekend tanningt and teeth whitening, agreed. “The Tea Party is looking to tar and feather someone, and I think we’ve found our man.”

Mr. Janakowski was unavailable for comment.