Americans Flee as Economy Hits Bottom
LAREDO TX. Mexican citizen Hector Ruiz was crawling through an unguarded culvert along the Texas -Mexico border last week when he ran into an unusual obstacle- a desperate and hungry Texas family coming the other way. “I always use this route to cross into the US, and I never get caught. I thought I was done for but it turned out it was just a nice young family looking to hide out from their mortgage company.” Hector pointed the way and even gave them a few pesos to tide them over before heading to his job as a migrant thorn picker.
Carlos Jimenez, mayor of the Mexican border town Santa Nunca de Juevos, says “We see more and more of this every week. Americans ducking bill collectors, coming over here looking for work with the cartels. You people are pretty decent with weapons and you know a lot about drugs, I’ll give you that, but you’re taking away jobs from decent law breaking Mexicans. And for Christ’s sake learn the language. If one more fat jackass in cargo shorts and a baseball cap calls me Isabel and asks me where the library is there’s going to be an international incident.“
Carl Ballston, Professor of Border Studies at the University of Texas, is aware of the trend. “Mexicans do call reverse migrators “Fatbacks”, because they often get stuck and clog up tunnels and culverts. And there’s nothing sadder than seeing one of these guys hanging off a wall on the US side of the border. Border Patrol agents even have a code for it-“Humpty Dumpty needs assistance.”
“We’ve ordered more cranes,” reports Captain Chuck Conroy of the US Border Patrol. “But this isn’t a part of our strategic initiative for 2011, so we’ll see.” Asked what advice he would give to American citizens contemplating a border run, he offers, “Stay home and deal drugs in your own communities. Even with the daily shootings the drug cartels don’t have a lot of vacancies right now.”