Monthly Archive: August, 2011

Economist: We Just Make It Up As We Go

EVANSTON, IL Fell short of economist’s estimates. Economists were surprised. Higher than economists expected. We hear those phrases a lot in the news.  Do you ever wonder why economists are always surprised when the… Continue reading

Weekend Update: Couldn’t She Find a Baby to Kiss?

NEW YORK, NY. Today at a press conference Newsweek Editor-in -Chief Tina Brown released the second choice cover photo for last week’s issue featuring Michelle Bachman. The photo that was actually used stirred… Continue reading

Lost in Translation: Violence Erupts on the Court

“… I don’t think we have anything to worry about in the superpower department” BEIJING. The game between Georgetown University Hoyas and the Bayi Rockets was advertised as a “friendly” match, but a… Continue reading

The Donald Weighs in on The Election

NEW YORK, NY. The usually soft-spoken Donald Trump (@realDonaldTrump) has uncharacteristically weighed in on the 2012 presidential race. In a Small Winged Potatoes exclusive, we bring you the candid comments from his royal… Continue reading

Investing In The Face of a Double Dip

WALL STREET, NY. It’s been a wild week on Wall Street and in markets around the globe. These are tough seas for investors to navigate. After Treasuries are downgraded, the “Smart Money” still… Continue reading

Is This Thing On? Romney Pre-Debate Comments Captured on Bootleg Video

“… They’re both old, and gross, but that dude is extra creepy” AMES IA. High School Senior Jacob Saltzman, on a field trip with his Social Studies class, may have captured the story… Continue reading

The People Speak: Bonuses For Wall Street Bankers

Do you think Wall Street bankers will get large bonuses this year? Yeah, I got my brokers bonus right here! James Johnson, Pet Groomer Key West, FL I told my idiot of a… Continue reading

DANGER WILL ROBINSON! NASA Confirms Two Astronauts Accidentally Left in Space

DAYTONA, FL. NASA public relations director Fred Merkle confirmed today at a hastily convened press conference that engineers are frantically rebuilding a working shuttle out of spare parts to rescue two astronauts accidently… Continue reading

Woman Can’t Place Voice-Over Actor; Kicks Cat Repeatedly

GILMAN, IA. A woman watching the OWN network last night allegedly kicked her cat repeatedly in frustration after she could not recall the name of the voice over actor on a TV commercial. “Damn… Continue reading

Local Man Wants Songs Banned From Radio

LOS ANGLELES, CA. It’s not for profanity. Or violent themes. Or too much sex. “Haven’t we heard these enough, already?” asks Tom Hinson. He lists of the songs on his “hit” list: More… Continue reading