The Donald Weighs in on The Election

NEW YORK, NY. The usually soft-spoken Donald Trump (@realDonaldTrump) has uncharacteristically weighed in on the 2012 presidential race. In a Small Winged Potatoes exclusive, we bring you the candid comments from his royal majesty, The Donald.

donald trump

This race needs me.

Michele Bachmann: She’s a lovely lady. A fine lady. Gorgeous. When she speaks, I don’t hear a word she says. I don’t know about this Tea Party stuff. But she’s a Gorgeous lady.

Herman Cain: A terrible golfer, but a great guy.

Rick Perry: I like his tough talk. I think he’d do the right thing and launch a war on China. China is eating our lunch. He is no Trump. But he could be a winner. He needs to do something with his hair.

Ron Paul: I like some of what he says. But he’ll never win. So he’s a loser.

Tim Pawlenty: A quitter. Don’t waste my time. What else have you got?

Jon Huntsman: Who?

Mitt Romney: I don’t like him. He’s a Harvard man. Did I mention I went to Wharton?

Newt Gingrich: He’s just running to sell books. I like the way he thinks. Did I mention that I may be running?

Barack Obama: Barack Obama. You’re fired.