Monthly Archive: October, 2012

NIH Announces Massive Chimp Retirement at New Iberia Research Center

WASHINGTON DC (SWP):  NIH spokesperson Lancelot Link announced today that over one hundred research chimps will be retired effective immediately, marking a massive shift in U.S. animal research policy.  “They have served their… Continue reading

Bono Kicks Off New Charity Drive

“Help Bono to Help Bono” DUBLIN IRELAND (SWP):  The singer and political activist, in a press conference today, stated, “Bono’s given ‘til it hurts, and now Bono needs your help.  Sure, Bono could… Continue reading

Big Bird’s Ruffled Feathers

“Hey Romney, check your windshield” HOLLYWOOD, CA (SWP): The PBS star responded strongly to Romney’s vow during the presidential debate to cut funding to public television at an impromptu press conference from his… Continue reading