Monthly Archive: November, 2012

Hey Santa, Why You Ridin’ the Bus?

“Hey Santa, Why You Ridin’ the Bus?” BRONX, NY (SWP):  With that seemingly innocent question, eight year old bystander Jose Martinez got more information than he could handle. Rudolph Mabry, one of the… Continue reading

Military Considers Ban on Heterosexual Officers

Panetta Cites Ongoing Scandals THE PENTAGON:  Defense Secretary Leon Panetta today confirmed that he has commissioned an internal study in response to the recent wave of inappropriate behavior by heterosexual military officers.  “Look,”… Continue reading

Congress to Convene Hearings on Patraeus Affair

WASHINGTON D.C. (SWP): The career of David Petraeus, the CIA director and renowned general, was derailed by allegedly vicious and—with any luck—lascivious emails his paramour sent to another woman. Now the CIA, FBI and White… Continue reading

Willard Mitt Romney Said To Be Despondent After Loss

Even Mitt’s favorite game of  “Pin the $100 Bill on the Laid Off Worker” hasn’t brought him out of his funk BOSTON, MA (SWP): Mitt Romney is sad. His family thought familiar tasks… Continue reading

Obama to Divided, Tired Nation: “Chillax, I got this”

CHICAGO IL. (SWP): An astonishingly relaxed and confident Barak Obama addressed supporters at his victory party late Tuesday night, insisting that his second term would “blow everybody’s minds.” “Look,” says Obama, “I have… Continue reading

Romney Rushed to Hospital with Suspected Hernia

Relief Event Results in No Relief for Candidate KETTERING OH (SWP): Mitt Romney was rushed to a local hospital yesterday after injuring himself lifting a case of drinking water during a staged photo… Continue reading