Monthly Archive: February, 2013

Chinese Hackers Appalled, Depressed

Hack Shack suffers high turnover rate “… U.S. [workers] spend 90% work day forwarding cat video, argue where go for lunch, and try find if new office assistant single” BEIJING (SWP): Well-placed international… Continue reading

National Weather Service Again Revises Storm Naming Procedure

“We want people to briefly lose continence then go out and buy supplies advertised on the Weather Channel.” WASHINGTON DC (SWP): National Weather Service Executive Director Dr. Millicent Millibar today announced that the… Continue reading

Prosecutors Refute Pistorious Self Defense Claim

“He doesn’t have a leg to stand on.” PRETORIA (SWP):  Magistrate Desmond Nasir strongly dismissed Olympian Oscar Pistorious’ claim that he mistakenly fired the shots that killed his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp on Valentine’s… Continue reading

Gov. Christie Opposes Donut Tax

TRENTON, NJ (SWP): Governor Chris Christie is on the talk show circuit voicing strong concerns about his state legislature’s new proposal to tax unhealthy foods to balance the state budget. Lawmakers, taking a… Continue reading

Vince Lombardi Rises from the Dead

Calls for Impeachment Hearings of Obama for criticizing Football. WASHINGTON D.C. (SWP): Legendary coach Vince Lombardi arrived in Washington today to rebut President Obama’s claims that he would have doubts about letting a… Continue reading