Monthly Archive: June, 2014

Local Man Despondent Over NPR Pledge Drives

SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA (SWP): Local resident Trevor Hunt is racked with guilt. He listens to it regularly, but has never contributed to public radio. His local station is KCBX Central Coast Public Radio. “Each… Continue reading

Obama Threatens Counter Suit Against Critics

“Somebody messes with me, I’m gonna mess with with him” MINNEAPOLIS, MN (SWP): Showing increasing defiance in the face of his critics, U. S. President Barak Obama yesterday raised the specter of a… Continue reading

CIA Confirms Effective New Enhanced Interrogation Techniques

LANGLY, VA (SWP): In the years following the Sept. 11 attacks, Americans learned about “enhanced interrogation techniques” at the center of the debate about what what critics called “torture.” In January 2009, with a change in… Continue reading

BREAKING: Donald Sterling Offers to Swap Clippers for Kings

“White Canadians with no Teeth Don’t Make Me Jealous.” LOS ANGELES CA (SWP):  Besieged Clipper’s owner Donald Sterling, according to sources, is in negotiations for “an even swap” of ownership, proposing to trade… Continue reading

Tired Truck Driver Really Looking Forward to Cross Country Vacation Road Trip

INDIANAPOLIS, IN (SWP): “I could really use the downtime,” said Carl Bonkowski via cellphone. He has been on the road for most of the last six months. He has criss-crossed the country at least… Continue reading

Angry Lawmakers Demand Hearings on White House Paper Towel Usage

WASHINGTON D.C. (SWP):  Lawmakers, angered by reports that the White House uses several sheets of paper towels just to dry its hands, today demanded hearings over why the Obama administration pursues such a policy without consulting Congress.… Continue reading

DMV Worker Risks Job, Pension to Help Patron

“I just wanted to know what it felt like.” SIMI VALLEY, CA (SWP): Speaking to reporters in a grungy break room at the Simi Valley, CA Division of Motor Vehicles office, Myrna Van… Continue reading

Pope Emeritus Benedict Planning Putin-esque Return Campaign

Francis: “I’m no Medvedev” VATICAN CITY (SWP): Pope Emeritus Benedict may be setting the stage for a comeback next spring, according to papal watchers around the globe. And he appears to be using the successful public relations… Continue reading