Pitt, Jolie Marry in Preparation for Massive Hollywood Style Divorce
Expect news frenzy during their fall movie releases
MIRAVAL, FRANCE (SWP): A spokesman for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt has told the Associated Press that the couple married on Saturday in Chateau Miraval, France.
“My people tell me we have to ratchet it up a bit,” commented Pitt.
His agent clarified, “People have been losing interest in them. At this point, a plain old couple breakup would hardly make news.”
A full-blown Hollywood style divorce trial would certainly boost their ratings. “They may have to throw in some gun violence or at least a black eye and a hooker or two,” said Perez Hilton of Hollywood’s Hottest Celebrity Gossip.
Jolie, 39, and Pitt, 50, wed Saturday in a small chapel in a private ceremony attended by family and friends. In advance of the nondenominational civil ceremony, Pitt and Jolie obtained a marriage license from a local California judge. The judge also conducted the ceremony in France.
Previously, Pitt was married to Jennifer Aniston from 2000 to 2005. This is Jolie’s third marriage. She was previously married to Billy Bob Thorton (2000-2003) and Jonny Lee Miller (1996-1999).
“Brad has leveraged this well before–his failed marriage with Jen is still news. Angelina’s past breakups didn’t make much noise. But she’s a bigger star now,” said Hilton.
Asked if the couple were worried that leaking plans now would reduce interest, a spokesperson noted that the very controversy and anticipation over the “rumors” would likely increase the “share of voice.”
“It’s risky,” said Hilton, “they are competing with the Kim-Kanye breakup rumors. If KK break first, the short marriage story line will lose it’s punch.”