Democratic Leadership Remains Stuck in Paper Bag

Stop rolling around, Chuck. I told you. It doesn’t work!

WASHINGTON D.C. (SWP): Yesterday, House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) — shouting from inside the paper bag — confronted calls for new leadership in the Democratic Party.

wp-1486574858550.jpgAccording to sources on the scene, say she may have said something about experience being just as important as having a fresh face.

But the loud crinkling noises generated by her colleague and Senate minority leader, Charles “Chuck” Schumer (D-New York), drowned her out.

“Stop rolling around, Chuck,” she was heard to screech. “I told you. It doesn’t work!”

The Democratic leadership team has been trapped in the bag for years, unable to break out. This year, in the wake of Trump’s election win, frustration among rank-and-file Democrats, the so-called Resistance movement, as well as among fellow lawmakers, has boiled over into calls for new leadership.

Failures to stop several GOP legislative moves and Presidential nominations, show the urgency with which they must break out of the paper bag — or face the consequences with constituencies and the Democratic caucus.

Pelosi and Schumer insist they will break out of the bag. They claim there are more tactics that they can try.

Pelosi and Schumer trapped in paper bag spoils protest

Pelosi and Schumer, trapped in paper bag, spoil protest event.

The bag gained broad awareness in the news when the Congressional Democratic leaders assembled on the steps of the Supreme Court last week to protest President Donald Trump’s temporary immigration ban, but they had one big problem — their crinkling noises drowned out the microphones.

GOP had a field day with the event’s problems, while supporters tried to console themselves.

At the event, Congressional Democrats soon realized no one could hear them, and broke out into singing Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is Your Land.”

“Chuck really made some good rhythms with that bag,” said one supporter in the crowd. “The problem is. That’s not enough. He has to break out of the bag. Or step down.”

At last report, the two trapped leaders thought they had found a potential route out through the opening at the top of the bag. But Democrats and members of The Resistance may not have the patience to wait it out.