Paul Manafort Outraged that his Nefarious Dealings with Russia Labeled “Nefarious”
It’s a smear campaign by the Left.”
MOSCOW (SWP): Is working to advance Vladimir Putin’s agenda ‘nefarious’? How about taking $12 million dollars in the process? Many seem to think so. The man accused, Paul Manafort, takes offense.
President Donald Trump’s former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, is accused of secretly working for a Russian billionaire to advance the interests of Russian President Vladimir Putin.
“An Outrage! This all happened a decade ago,” a spokesperson for Manafort said by phone.
“I mean, Snapchat wasn’t even invented yet. Though, between you, me and Ma Bell here, it would have helped. A lot.”
Democrats, aren’t buying any of it. They propose that Manafort was involved in nefarious political strategy to nefariously undermine anti-Russian opposition across former nefarious Soviet republics.
“This nefarious work contradicts potentially nefarious assertions by the, some would say, nefarious, Trump administration,” said polite Representative Adam Schiff (D-CA).
A less refined Democratic operative said it this way:
“Fucking A! Give me a motherfucking break! Manafort himself has said that he never worked for Russian interests. These nefarious revelations are nefariously revealing of nefariously nefarious dealings of a nefarious nature.”
Manafort’s spokesperson—who sounds, over the phone, a lot like Paul Manafort holding his nose whilst speaking—also responded to the nefarious sums of money involved.
“Paul Manafort has become accustomed to a style of living that requires vast sums of money. Is it nefarious to creatively seek a living wage? Don’t Democrats love advocating for living wages?”
How is the White House reacting?
As NBC’s Peter Alexander found out, the White House was angrily tight-lipped about Manafort. Press secretary Sean “Angry Sean” Spicer gave a terse comment in a recent press lecture session.
“It would be nefarious for us to comment on the nefarious dealings of a nefarious person who is not a nefarious White House employee,” the press secretary insisted.
In a related story, President Donald J. Trump played a round of golf.