Paul Manafort Outraged that his Nefarious Dealings with Russia Labeled “Nefarious”

It’s a smear campaign by the Left.”

MOSCOW (SWP): Is working to advance Vladimir Putin’s agenda ‘nefarious’? How about taking $12 million dollars in the process? Many seem to think so. The man accused, Paul Manafort, takes offense.

manafort_hatPresident Donald Trump’s former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, is accused of secretly working for a Russian billionaire to advance the interests of Russian President Vladimir Putin.

“An Outrage! This all happened a decade ago,” a spokesperson for Manafort said by phone.

“I mean, Snapchat wasn’t even invented yet. Though, between you, me and Ma Bell here, it would have helped. A lot.”

Democrats, aren’t buying any of it. They propose that Manafort was involved in nefarious political strategy to nefariously undermine anti-Russian opposition across former nefarious Soviet republics.

“This nefarious work contradicts potentially nefarious assertions by the, some would say, nefarious, Trump administration,” said polite Representative Adam Schiff (D-CA).

A less refined Democratic operative said it this way:

“Fucking A! Give me a motherfucking break! Manafort himself has said that he never worked for Russian interests. These nefarious revelations are nefariously revealing of nefariously nefarious dealings of a nefarious nature.”

Manafort’s spokesperson—who sounds, over the phone, a lot like Paul Manafort holding his nose whilst speaking—also responded to the nefarious sums of money involved.

“Paul Manafort has become accustomed to a style of living that requires vast sums of momanafort-spicer.jpgney. Is it nefarious to creatively seek a living wage? Don’t Democrats love advocating for living wages?”

How is the White House reacting?

As NBC’s Peter Alexander found out, the White House was angrily tight-lipped about Manafort. Press secretary Sean “Angry Sean” Spicer gave a terse comment in a recent press lecture session.

“It would be nefarious for us to comment on the nefarious dealings of a nefarious person who is not a nefarious White House employee,” the press secretary insisted.

In a related story, President Donald J. Trump played a round of golf.