Nunes Next Memo To Claim Robert Mueller Wears Curlers to Bed

WASHINGTON D.C. (SWP): Encouraged by the release of his first memo, which nearly shut down the FBI and the DOJ investigations of President Trump, CA Representative and Chairman of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, Devin Nunes, hinted at more memos to come.

“These memos are finally revealing the truth that heretofore was only available between the ears of Donald Trump,” said Nunes, adding, “I went to agriculture school.”

Nunes further claims that he’s come into possession of new, shocking evidence that definitely shows that the Russia Investigation in general, and Special Counsel Robert Mueller in particular, are biased against the president.

Democratic Rep. Adam Schiff, also from CA, almost showed emotion upon being briefed. “That is simply the most lame thing I have ever heard. And I’m a lawyer. From Harvard,” he said in a tone that almost made us forget he’s a synthetic being.

The new memo allegedly attempts to tie Mr. Mueller to a series of behaviors and actions that demonstrate his bias against Mr. Trump.

These claims run from business dealings to Mar-a-Lago memberships to the personal, including the bizarre claim that Mr. Mueller wears curlers to bed.

Mr. Mueller did not return our requests for comment.

“It’ll all make sense when the full details are released,” said Nunes, staring off into the horizon. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to tend to my cattle.”