Local Man Blows First Date Before Main Course by Signalling Support for Trump
SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA (SWP): “I got excited,” said the young man, Jason Edward Aultman, shaking his head. “It just came out.”
The date had been going well, until that point.
“Great, really,” said his date, Susan DiCaprioni, who asked to remain anonymous.
The couple met at a casual but highly rated restaurant downtown.
Introductions and discussions of traffic on the way downtown filled the awkward gap of waiting to be seated. “I never know what to do with my hands, am I right, brah?” said Jason.
The couple ordered quickly, and eyewitnesses say that both looked relieved that their soups arrived so quickly.
Conversation turned to the mutual acquaintance who set them up.
According to diners on the scene, that’s when things took a turn for the worse.
Susan laughed at a remark about their mutual acquaintance’s shoes.
“I was so stoked that I had made her laugh,” said Jason, “and it just slipped out. ‘Libtard'”
Witnesses say that Susan stared for a good five seconds before standing to leave.
Friends describe the single mother of a one-year old, gender-confused son as very tolerant. Her sister, who was over to babysit, told reporters that Susan spent time beforehand reading Twitter, and she apparently was in no mood for any “libtard” talk.
“She had, like, an hour to kill before the date, and she was, you know, nervous. So, you know, she like started catching up on her Twitter feed. She always gets so riled up. She almost missed her ride.”
As Susan walked out, Jason started to backpedal his remark as a joke. But then he doubled-down: “I guess that makes you a libtard too. Huh? Snowflake!”
Her Uber driver reports that Susan cried all the way home.
“She’ll be back,” Jason said.