Tag Archive: 2016 Presidential Campaign

Trump Campaign: Elevators and 35,000 Feet Not Subject to U.S. Laws

MELBOURNE, FL (SWP): Donald Trump claims that closed elevators are not subject to U.S. Laws. “It’s like being trapped in a box. And that box could be anywhere.” Likewise, said the campaign, flying… Continue reading

BREAKING: Trump Run Actually New Reality Show: The Candidate

We thought it would be interesting to turn the tables and make the boss the contestant MIRA LAGO, FL (SWP): A former employee of Bravo TV leaked the story to SWP. “It’s all… Continue reading

Trump: Obama and Clinton Traveled Through Time and Caused Great Depression of the 1930s

I have many friends, good friends, who told me. Many people are talking about it. I mean look, we’re talking about it right now. All of us. Thousands of people. In a room. It must be true.

Man Baby Trump Would Hit DNC Speakers If It Weren’t for Those Darned Bone Spurs

“I really regret that the military kept me from serving in Vietnam. You know, we would have won with me in there.”

GOP Convention: Day One Recap

If no one gets killed, it’ll be a rousing success.

Republican Voters Taking a New Look at Clinton

Innately drawn toward politicians that promise one thing, but really just enrich themselves in office. CHARLESTON, SC (SWP): Confusion about Donald Trump’s true intentions and his here-today-gone-tomorrow conservative principles are leading many conservative… Continue reading

Sanders Supporters, Raised on T-Ball, Can’t Fathom Loss

He played, he should win. LAS VEGAS, NV (SWP): Threats of violence. Predictions of mayhem in Philadelphia. Why are Bernier Sanders supporters throwing such a tantrum? According to Sarah Bellum, it’s a Millennial… Continue reading

The Donald’s Dilemma

“She’s beautiful. But she is getting a little long in the tooth, don’t you think?” said the presumptive GOP nominee, he himself nearly 70 years old. “Hey, for men it’s different. Don’t shoot me. I don’t make the rules.”

Calm Trump Even More Frightening

Lacking lampoonery, ideas just plain stupid.

Trump Unveils White House Renovation Plan

Includes 350 luxury condos. “It’s going to be beautiful. Just beautiful.” NEW YORK CITY, NY (SWP): Promising something beautiful and “yuge,” Donald Trump unveiled his plans for White House renovations when he’s elected.… Continue reading