Tag Archive: GOP

New Breakthroughs in Race to Categorize GOP Alternate Reality

“In GOP Alternate Reality, up is left and down is right. Or is it down is out and deficits are good? I can’t keep it straight. Whatever, it’s bizarre.”

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Roy Moore Wandering Past Middle Schools Not Even on Way Home

MONTGOMERY, AL (SWP): Last Tuesday was a long night for Judge Roy Moore. He narrowly lost the hotly contested Alabama Senate seat in a race that had grabbed the world’s attention for months.… Continue reading

CEOs Struggle to Deal with Tax Reform

“The company mattresses are already busting at the seams!” NEW YORK, NY (SWP): “‘Well, shit’ I told the board,” said Randall Lynn Stephenson, CEO of AT&T, “we’ll just have to buy another corporate… Continue reading

Next Up for Congressional Republicans: Dismantle Highways and Bridges

“And Damns. We’re looking at you next.” WASHINGTON D.C. (SWP): In the wake of a terrible score from the CBO, the BCRA, the Senate version of an ACA Repeal and Replace bill, hasn’t… Continue reading

GOP Convention: Day One Recap

If no one gets killed, it’ll be a rousing success.

Republican Voters Taking a New Look at Clinton

Innately drawn toward politicians that promise one thing, but really just enrich themselves in office. CHARLESTON, SC (SWP): Confusion about Donald Trump’s true intentions and his here-today-gone-tomorrow conservative principles are leading many conservative… Continue reading

Marco Rubio Gains Momentum Among Whiney, Prissy Types

Third place is the new first place.

Harry Reid Vows to Act on Nomination if GOP Won’t

Threatens Senate Bake Sale; GOP Wives Furious

“It just might work,” says Congressional Watcher Sarah Bellum of the gambit. “With their husbands regularly visiting male prostitutes, these women have nothing else to live for.”

Republicans New Climate Change Platform

“This Planet is Killing Us: We’ve Got to Kill It First.” WASHINGTON DC (SWP): Republican leaders launched a sweeping new strategy today to counter claims that they are ignoring ever growing signs of… Continue reading