Monthly Archive: May, 2014

Study Reveals Driver in Front of You Really Is a Complete Idiot

DETROIT, MI (SWP): No, it isn’t your imagination or some universal conspiracy. A new study from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) scientifically proves what you already suspected. The study, conducted over 24 months in 12… Continue reading

Experts Wow Crowd with Empty Aphorisms at Marketing Convention

SAN DIEGO, CA (SWP): Attendees gathered at the 10th annual Interactive Day San Diego, to hear some of the nation’s most-successful and innovative marketing experts share their learned sound bites on how to succeed in the new… Continue reading

Obama Gives Birth to Alien Baby

Donald Trump: “I’m not surprised.” WASHINGTON D.C. (SWP) The United States has never confirmed any UFO or other extraterrestrial encounters. That is, until now. “Let’s be clear,” White  House spokesperson Jay Carney began… Continue reading

Republicans New Climate Change Platform

“This Planet is Killing Us: We’ve Got to Kill It First.” WASHINGTON DC (SWP): Republican leaders launched a sweeping new strategy today to counter claims that they are ignoring ever growing signs of… Continue reading

House Republicans Finally Explain Lack of Productivity

“It was like something out of a 1960s science fiction television series that chronicles the adventures of a starship crew” WASHINGTON D.C. (SWP): The Republican-controlled House is on pace to pass the fewest bills in a… Continue reading

United Air Lines Announces All Passengers to Now Get Priority Boarding

CHICAGO IL (SWP) United Air Lines (UAL) announced their new seating policy in the wake of their recent first-quarter losses and  revenue under-performance relative to its industry peers. The move is designed to attract more… Continue reading

Sterling/Bundy 2016: These Crackers Won’t Crumble

Candidates Vow to Restore the Values and Racial Policies of the Founding Fathers WASHINGTON DC (SWP): Donald Sterling and Cliven Bundy today announced they will seek the 2016 Republican nominations for president and… Continue reading