Additional Trump Call Transcripts Leaked

Call with the president of San Marcos shows a new president learning the ropes.

WASHINGTON D.C. (SWP): In the wake of phone transcripts leaked to the Washington Post, the White House and it’s new Chief of Staff John Kelly have struggled to “get in front of the issue.”

Not helping President Trump: a series of further leaks.

SWP has obtained from sources asking to remain anonymous (but who live in Georgetown, MD, on Upper Creek Lane, off of cross street Bay Shore Road) the transcript of President Trump’s phone call with the President of San Marcos, Gen. Emilio Molina Vargas.

The transcript, in its entirety, is reproduced below.

Donald Trump headshot

Donald J. Trump

Gen. Emilio Molina Vargas

Gen. Emilio Molina Vargas

TRUMP

Hello? Are you there, Generalissimo? Have you used a teléfono before? Are you holding it to your ear?

VARGAS

Sí. Yes. I hear you, Señor Presidente. Sí. I am here.

TRUMP

Did you hear me use Spanish there? I speak many languages. I speak so well …

VARGAS

Sir?

TRUMP

…. and I love the Latin people. The Latins. They love me.

I won The Latins vote by a big margin, you know.

200-percent. Two. Hundred. Percent. You understand percents? It’s big. Capisce?

VARGAS

The Latinos, sir? You are speaking of the Latino peoples?

TRUMP

Yes. Very sexy. The Latin ladies, I mean. The Latin ladies. Mmmm.

I bet you have a sexy wife, Generalissimo. Am I right? What is she wearing right now?

VARGAS

Soy un viudo … I am a widower, sir. My wife was a martyr in the revolution. Viva la revolución!

TRUMP

You lucky dog, you. Still, I can grab any pussy I want, you may have heard.

Ever sit behind the wheel of a big Mack truck?

VARGAS

Sir, if we may get down to business …

TRUMP

Sure thing, amigo. I want to talk about my wall. I’m concerned about my wall.

VARGAS

Wall? Sir, I’m confused. We don’t share a border with you.

Do you mean to speak of the wall with Mexico?

TRUMP

Yes. Mexico. Yes, of course. Wasn’t that what we were talking about?

I need you to tell the press that Mexico will pay for the wall.

VARGAS

Sir, I am not certain that will help.

And I will have to speak with Enrique first.

TRUMP

Who? Who’s that?

VARGAS

Peña Nieto, sir.

TRUMP

The singer?

VARGAS

Él Presidente de Mexico.

TRUMP

Hey! I know him. Great hombre. Strong handshake.

Now, his wife is hot. Alive too. I don’t like people who are killed in revolutions.

VARGAS

Sir, I have heard that you are new to this, so I will let this insult pass.

But that is your only warning. I am not a patient, or merciful, man.

TRUMP

Tough guy, eh? You a bad hombre?

If you think you can threaten me, the president of the United States, you’re in for a big surprise, Pablo.

All I have to do is hang up this phone and you’re finished.

VARGAS

Sir, I assure you, I am not afraid.

In fact, I am quite close with Señor Putin.

I saved his life. Twice.

TRUMP

What’s that? I can’t hear you. The line must have gone bad. On your side, no doubt. Nice doing business with you. Say hello to Mrs. Vargas for me. Ciao!

End of Transcript.

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